Back in Newcastle

What a month!! What a taxing taxing month, too many good byes said, too many tears shed, how my eyes are still red from all the crying, how my heart continues to cry still.

I love my freedom and independance in Newcastle, but i miss my family back home. It was just, different. Having my family and bf around me, i felt like a true princess. There was just so many people looking out for me every second. At times, i did feel like drowning though. I guess i am too used to being on my own, and just doing things i like without anyone interfering.

I feel that i actually prefer to live on my own. However, the guilt is overwhelming. The selfishness of leaving my aging mum behind each time i have to return to Newcastle haunts me.
The sight of her crying to see me go through the departure gate breaks my heart.

What will i do after my studies? I think i want to live away from home, have my own place. But not soo far away from my family so that i can visit them every week. I'm just used to having my own place now. I can't imagine losing the freedom i have now. However, since i just came back to Newcastle yesterday, i miss home very much right now. I think i am having some difficulty adjusting back to life in Newcastle. Hope this faze of mine will pass soon.